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Stasi: Eliot Spitzer's hooker tale shouldn't be believed

Why should anyone trust Eliot Spitzer?Cindy Ord/Getty Images

Why should anyone trust Eliot Spitzer?

He rents hookers more often than other men rent cars. He lies about paying for it in inverse proportion to the way other men lie about hitting it. He disgraces his family with the ease of Anthony Weiner on Twitter. He was the high-flying bulldozing Steamroller who was really a lowlife sleazebag bulls–ter.

And he’s at it again with the voraciousness of Charlie Sheen on crack.

He is Eliot Spitzer, the prosecutor who hid the fact that he was a prostitution playah/payer, the disgraced ex-governor who shamelessly ran for controller even though his monetary experience seemed to extend only as far as hitting check cashing joints so he could hit it with dames like Ashley Dupré.

Now Client No. 9, the repulsive recidivist, is in it up to his receding hairline, once more expecting the people who once trusted him to trust him that the Russian hooker named Svetlana Travis (seriously?) is telling the truth now.

Spit fully believes we little people are all so stupid we’ll believe he only went to a $ 1,000 bucks-a-night Plaza Hotel suite because he wanted to comfort Svetlana. He wants us to buy her second story, which is unlike her first to the police, that he only ended up choking her to save her from harming herself and that the cuts on her arm were from her attempt to commit suicide by cutting her wrists, but were on up on her arm. No wonder she gets $ 5,000-a-night: she’s got wrists on her elbows, truly a specialty act.

What would he do if he’d wanted to save her from jumping out the window — open it and shove hard?

The hooker-loving Eliot Spitzer was seeing a sultry 25-year-old blond, Svetlana Travis.

The hooker-loving Eliot Spitzer was seeing a sultry 25-year-old blond, Svetlana Travis.

Enlarge Spitzer resigned as New York governor in 2008 after it was revealed that he hired then-hooker Ashley Dupre. John M. Heller/Getty Images

Spitzer resigned as New York governor in 2008 after it was revealed that he hired then-hooker Ashley Dupre.

Enlarge

Russian hooker Svetlana Travis (l.) and Ashley Dupre, who brought down then-Gov. Eliot Spitzer in 2008.

Worse, why was Svetlana supposedly depressed in the first place? Get this: Because she was going back to Russia. That’s his story and she’s sticking to it. Well, that’s the rewrite. First she said Spit assaulted her because he was depressed that as she was going back to Russia.

Can we keep her there and send him, too?

Meantime, Svet’s been living la vida loca in the USA with no visible means of support, leaving a trail of unpaid hi-end apartment rentals in her wake.

As you’d expect, instead of pressing charges, the next day Svetlana flew to Russia where chances are good she can still make $ 5G a night bedding fat oligarchs instead of malnourished millionaires. Like she wrote on medium.com, “Sex is sex, but money is money” — whatever the hell that means.

Svet’s a user, but Spit is a casebook sociopath with zero regard for the shame he’s brought once again on his good ex-wife, Silda, and his three daughters who are Svetlana’s age.

The Luv Guv has so little decency that he even dragged recently split girlfriend, Lis Smith, whose career he’d already dragged down, into it.

Smith should have put paper down on the seat before she sat in Spitz’s car, let alone slept with him.

At least Spit paid shameless Svet.

Kanye West has gone krazy.Craig Barritt/Getty Images

Kanye West has gone krazy.

THE WEST MAY SOON BE LOST

Maybe there’s nothing wrong with Kanye that a good divorce kan’t kure.

The man married a Kardashian thinking he was stronger than the Kardashian kurse.

Not!

In THE past few years, one husband became a worldwide schmuck, another a crackhead in a cat house, (alleged crackhead!) still another, a woman. In the non-athletic sporting group, the sponge became a cheating substance abuser and the brother a banged up mess.

Now Kanye, the only man who seemed to escape the curse, has gone krazy claiming he’s $ 53 million in debt, tormented by a nameless oppressor after releasing an album with lyrics so stupid he’s a laughingstock, and claiming he’s the greatest artist of all time.

He refused to show up at the Grammys unless promised Album of the Year, which went to Taylor Swift, whom he tried to humiliate, but who, in a few gorgeous words, leveled him. Hello krazy house? Here comes another Kardashian katastrophy.

PANTING FOR DOG SHOW

The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is for me the Super Bowl, the Oscars and Fashion Week all gone horribly wrong at once. It’s the best two nights of TV, except for “The Walking Dead,” which has zero dogs of the zombie kind.

As I always write/shout from the doghouse rooftops annually, where else can you find dogs with better blowouts than their owners, women who look like they can’t walk let alone trot around rings wearing suits best saved for confused crossdressers or down-and-out ambulance chasers? Then there are the male handlers — remember the Afghan Hound guy with terrifying ponytail dye job that matched his dog? — and pooches so perfectly behaved they don’t pee on the floor, sniff butts, pass gas that could clear out the whole stadium, or refuse to do anything/everything they’re told.

Best? It’s the only arena where “bitch” actually is a term of respect.

TABLOIDS OUT; NO BOOK PUBLISHING WITHOUT PRIOR APPROVAL. NO ARCHIVE. NO RESALE.Craig Sjodin/ABC via Getty Images

Lex McAllister, a former contestant on “The Bachelor,” is proof that fame from reality TV comes with a price.

‘BACHELOR-YECH’

The latest tragic victim of “The Bachelor” is Lex McAllister, the second Season 14 contestant to die as a result of suicide.

While a TV show can’t cause you to kill yourself, the sudden fame of fake reality TV and the sudden obscurity that comes afterward has caused nearly three dozen reality stars over the last 10 years to either die by their own hands or by embracing the ever riskier lifestyles that got them on the shows in the first place.

Kim Kardashian tried to shatter the Internet by revealing her cleavage secrets.kimkardashian via Twitter

Kim Kardashian tried to shatter the Internet by revealing her cleavage secrets.

From the very start, I found “The Bachelor” (and consequently “The Bachelorette”) most demeaning though. Women, paraded around like hookers at a high-end brothel, throw themselves at some loser who has to go on TV to get lucky.

KIM REVEALS CLEAVAGE SECRETS

Kim Kardashian, in a wild bid to rebreak the Internet, even as her husband looks to be breaking down, has decided to give back to the world by doing something huge for humanity: Share her cleavage secrets!

She tapes ’em up with gaffer’s tape, she just revealed. This heavy-duty tape is used on film sets to hold everything from cables to heavy equipment in place. But boobs that size? That’s a stretch. Can you imagine tearing that tape off each night? Emergency rooms all over the country will be, ah, stacked up!

MITCH MCCON JOB

Senate Republicans, led by Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, have vowed to block any Supreme Court replacement until a new (and Republican) President is elected.

McConnell said, “The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court justice.” They do. We elected him and President Obama.

Majority Leader Mitch McConnell must think voters are stupid.Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Majority Leader Mitch McConnell must think voters are stupid.

He added, “Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new President.” Meantime, McConnell himself voted to confirm Anthony Kennedy in Reagan’s final year, which is exactly what he’s advocating against now.

Shutting down democracy isn’t patriotic, it’s traitorous. We elected these people to keep the wheels of government moving, not to knock the wheels off the bus and call it moving forward.

FOLLOW LINDA STASI ON FACEBOOK HERE.

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